Just like adults, children can feel anger. Of course, children have different ways of expressing anger than adults do, but learning how to manage and release their anger is just as important.
Children learn by watching the adults around them and emulating their actions. You can help to instill healthy anger management techniques into the children around you now, so they can grow up to be happy, healthy, productive adults.
Why do Children Get Angry, and How do They Express It?
Children get angry for many of the same reasons as adults; they’re hurt, something didn’t go their way, somebody was mean to them, etc.
However, the key reasons children have anger, as well as how they express their anger, do change as they grow. Adults and Children Together (ACT) Against Violence, a violence prevention program that targets kids aged 0-8, has compiled a list of the causal factors of anger by age:
Kids with unmanaged anger can grow up to face big problems. That is why it is so important to help your child learn to process negative emotions in appropriate ways from an early age. You can help them by trying helpful children anger management tips. Even toddlers can learn a little bit about self-control, although tantrums to a certain extent are bound to occur. Here are some children anger management tips that may help your family enjoy a more peaceful home environment.
Babies: Babies get angry because their basic needs aren’t being met (they’re hungry, need to be changed, or sick ). An angry baby will cry and shake their arms and legs in an effort to attract their parent to help them.
Toddlers: Toddlers get angry and frustrated when they can’t do something they want. They often show their anger in the only way they know (since their vocabulary is limited) – by throwing a tantrum.
Children aged 3-5: Children in this age group begin to understand more about the world around them, and get angry about things others say and do. They’ll often express their anger toward an individual person by hitting or using threatening words.
Children aged 6-8: By this age, children understand other’s points of view and feelings, and they long to be accepted by their peers. They can get angry because of the actions of their peers (being rejected, ignored, teased or pushed), their parents (asking them to do something they don’t want to) and more. However, by this age, children should be able to control their anger and try to resolve the problem, rather than lashing out.
Recognizing Anger in Your Child
Anger management for children is something every parent should be familiar with. Kids are exposed to increasing amounts of violence and stress on TV and in their lives.. They also face increased pressures to perform well in school, in sports activities, and keep up with their peers both academically and socially.
For some children, getting angry is their way of releasing stress and anxiety about the challenges in their life. The first step in helping your child to manage his or her anger is recognizing the many forms it can take including:
• Verbal aggression (yelling, saying mean things, etc.)
• Physical aggression (hitting, kicking, pushing)
• Defending their self-esteem, possessions, etc. either aggressively or passively
• Using the “silent treatment”
• Giving up on something (like their homework, chores, etc.)
• Crying or pouting
• Avoiding certain situations or people (like ignoring their classmates at school) or trying to run away
• “Tattling” about something to a teacher or adult
How to Help Your Child Manage Anger
When it comes to anger management in children, the sooner you start, the better. The primary way that kids learn to express their emotions – including anger – is by watching you, their parents.
It is therefore extremely important that you are dealing with anger in a healthy way, using open communication, discussions and problem-solving skills rather than physical violence or verbal assaults.
If you feel you need some help in being a positive anger-management role model for your child, The Sedona Method can help. The Method consists of a series of simple questions that you ask yourself anytime you feel anger coming on. It teaches you to tap into your natural ability to release negative emotions, like anger, anxiety, rage and more, so you can feel calm and at peace even during tense situations.
Then, when it comes to helping your children with anger management, they will already be familiar with the concept of releasing. “Young children release naturally,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training at Sedona Training Associates. “In fact we would all be releasing all the time if it had not been trained out of us.”
The good news is that even if you haven’t been the best role model so far, you can help yourself and your child let go of anger as soon as you begin applying The Sedona Method principles. Best of all, it works for children of all ages!
“The best way to teach a child how to release is by example. Children follow how you are and what you do – not what you say. So the more you live with releasing in your life the more your children will embrace it too,” Dwoskin says.
“There is no age that is too young to work with releasing because it is so natural for children and adults. The best way to work with young children – if you are going to teach them directly – is by making the process of releasing and letting go into a fun game you can play together. Older children and young adults can easily learn the Method from a seminar, book or audio program,” he continues.
Along with being a positive anger-management role model, and using The Sedona Method whenever you need it, there are other key techniques you can share with your child to help him or her manage anger in a healthy, positive way.
These include:
• Let your child know it’s OK to be angry.
• Encourage open lines of communication. Ask him what’s wrong and encourage him to talk about it.
• Tell your child that while it’s OK to be angry, it’s not OK to hurt someone (physically or emotionally) or break things because of it.
• Talk to your child about his anger warning signs (clenched fists, face getting flushed, breathing faster, etc.). Let him know these are signs it’s time to calm down and release.
• Give your child tools to help him feel calm, including releasing with The Sedona Method, taking deep, slow breaths, counting to 10 and using positive statements like “It’s OK, I can get through this.”
• Help your child to learn problem-solving skills. This will help him to come up with alternatives to anger or violence in stressful situations.
Young Children Anger Management Tips
If you have toddlers or even preschoolers, you know that they are still learning to control their tempers, especially in public. Many parents are looking for young children anger management tips, and will eagerly accept suggestions from their parents, educators, and community leaders. It is important to remain calm during tantrums and outbursts, but also to be firm and consistent in issuing discipline so your child will take you seriously. Young children anger management tips include timeouts and distracting little ones from disgruntled emotions when they threaten to burst into angry behavior.
Teen Children Anger Management Tips
When dealing with teen children anger management tips, you may have to substitute diplomacy and tact for discipline in this age group. Learn how to be a good listener, quietly asking your son or daughter about their day at school, friends, social activities, and concerns or problems. When you see that they are visibly upset about something, calmly explore that area by asking more focused questions or inviting discussion. In addition, you may want to talk about acceptable ways of expressing displeasure or irritation, such as avoiding certain situations, politely asking for substitutions, or suggesting alternative ways of doing something. Let your kids know in clear terms which behaviors will not be tolerated, such as the use of profanity, throwing things, slamming doors, or refusing to cooperate with housework or homework. You can post the rules on the refrigerator and even invite your teen to help write the guidelines, along with suggesting appropriate consequences for infractions.
Teen children anger management tips might include rewards for self-control and appropriate anger processing. Rewards could be extra time on the computer, telephone, or television or reduced household chores for that week. Kids need to see a balance between love coupled with forgiveness and discipline linked to consequences. Let your teens know you are on their side, but that as they mature, they must become responsible for managing emotions, including anger, in adult-like ways that are socially acceptable.
Raising kids is harder than ever these days. Questionable or negative role models, me-centered self-gratification, and dwindling social restrictions encourage children to express unrestrained emotions that can wreak havoc on families and society. If you feel that your children are starting to display signs of uncontrolled rage, visit websites like anger-management-information.com to learn more about anger management training generally, and for specific examples of children anger management tips. Then talk to your child's teacher or a social services worker for more information about getting your child the help that is needed for anger management.
Steve Hill offers some effective anger management tips for children. Learn how to live without anger in your or your family's life.
No comments:
Post a Comment